
Sitting at my desk, I was putting silly comments on Vesna's or Julie's FB wall, when I felt a presence.........No shit, there was this guy, right there, at my window...except I live on the 3rd floor !!!!
FUCKING XMAS AGAIN...!
oh boy! and like there is no way I can avoid it, I come home and the city has practically put THEIR XMAS DECORATION inside my god damn living room..!
Remember how I even got a tree for the last 2 years...well this year, I want to escape, escape where there is no sound, no lights, no bling bling made in massive production, no toys no kids, JUST NOTHING................NO FUCKING XMAS....(hey vesna, any suggestions! you are usually really good at this)
No memories, no sadness, no pretending...no bull shit !
I am coming out of the closet....I HATE XMAS...it is a compulsive spending event that lives people drain and emotionally exhausted but no one is willing to admit it....."oh, I do it for the kids"....you know what I would say...., but I wont!
I am on a rampage against this stupid holiday this year.
The only good thing will be stuffing my face with as much foie gras as possible....!
I think I am really pissed right now and I know why, my EX ruined my possibilities of any good Xmas ever....(well, ok, maybe just this year.......unless I put his face on a punching bag and start kicking the shit out of it.)
Maybe, by then, it will all be gone and I can have a tree and sing "...all I want for Xmas is youuuuuuuuuuuuu with Maria C at the top of my lungs!!!
Send me courage, send me strength, send me hormones and a good friend...or give Vesna the right away to a computor during the entire Xmas vacation so she can keep on cheering us up with stories of her own wild adventures, running with scissors and other extremely dangerous devices..like the "spinning device" (yeah, you had to be there,....) please, just don't let me beleive I am totally alone at feeling horrible about it this year, lie, do something, ..as a matter of facts, do everything you can to have compassion and may I keep this running in the freezing cold going...that should cool me down a bit.